Should You Have A First Look? Here’s What A Husband Has To Say!

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When my wife and I first started planning our wedding, we really had no idea how many things we had to plan out and coordinate. Amidst all of the excitement of being newly engaged, we decided it was a good idea to take on the task of planning our own wedding. The closer that our “I do” date came, the more chaotic it was to accomplish everything. Of course, there were very small and minor details like which font style we wanted to use on the wedding invitation we would send out to our guests. There were also more complicated tasks like figuring out how to decorate the reception venue.

One of the most exciting parts of planning our wedding was choosing a venue. Since budget was very important for us, we researched many different places, interviewed them, and toured ones that we were interested in. Once we found one that we liked, we were then in charge of coordinating the timeline with the venue, making sure the guest attendance was confirmed, and ensuring the bridal party knew what they were supposed to be doing on our big day. There was also the rehearsal, making sure that the decorations were just the way that we wanted them, and coordinating with the DJ. We also had countless phone calls with the caterer (poor woman), negotiating what type of food we were going to have and how much food we would need based on how many people were going to be there (seriously, she was amazing at handling our requests and changes). Add on even more phone calls with the caterer as the guest list changed, and, well, you get the point. As crazy as all of this sounds, these things were nothing compared to how busy our wedding day was.

Since our wedding ceremony was scheduled for 9 AM, Suzanne was up by 4:30 AM to make sure she was ready and at the venue to be there when they opened to have her hair and makeup done. For me, on the morning of the wedding, it was back to back to back with everything that needed to be done. I was in charge of getting muffins, coffee, and orange juice with champagne for mimosas. Our wedding photographer was also running around getting things from us so we could have pictures of our details. I was pulled into different parts of the venue for groom/groomsman pictures and photos of all of us getting ready. I was fielding phone calls of family members that missed the turn and weren’t sure where to go while, at the same time, greeting guests and directing them on where to go once they got inside the venue. Then it was coordinating the bridal party lineup like we had practiced at our rehearsal. By the time it was time to watch my beautiful bride walk down the aisle, there were SO MANY THINGS that had already happened.

When I think back on our wedding day, I wish that there was another moment that we could have shared together. A moment without everyone watching us. A moment without all of the chaos. A moment just for us. The idea of a first look was something that never occurred to me. A first look is something that a lot of couples are strongly against because they are traditionalists. Looking back, I feel like it could have been such a special time for the two of us to just be together. One last time together as an engaged couple. A time to reflect on all of the craziness that was going on around us. A moment to block everything else out except for each other. Another moment to spend with my best friend. A moment to stare into the eyes of the person that I am going to spend the rest of my life with.

If you are still reading this, I would challenge you to think about the idea of a first look a little bit differently than you might have thought about it before. Think about it this way instead… You get more time to spend with the one that you love so much. More time with your best friend and partner. You get one more laugh, one more hug, and one more kiss. If anyone were to ask me, any one of those ‘one more’ things would have been all I needed to hear to make it all worth it.


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